you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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