garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
