I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
