you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
