he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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