I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he puts the penis in happiness.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
