Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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