Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Randomize
