i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
