My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
