KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
