ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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