i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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