And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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