i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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