yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
God, I missed his penis.
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