I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize