I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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