I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Randomize
