New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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