turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
