Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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