He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
