how can u be prego again
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
