At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Text me some of your sweat
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize