Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
