Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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