just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize