Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
