Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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