I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
