After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize