is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
