Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize