you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
