I can text with my tongue
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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