im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
