the condom got lost in my hair
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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