I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
a search helicopter?!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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