I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize