That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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