And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
