The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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