So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
