Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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