My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
