its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
