There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
