Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i think i just lost a toe
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