drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
either way he was missing a nipple.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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