I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
