I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I showed him my bush... on skype.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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