okay pat passed out under dana's car
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize