You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
