Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize