so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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