I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
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And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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