Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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