Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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