I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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