You made me cry and you don't even care
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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