Don't you send me to vm
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize