"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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