It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
